#3—Chapter 7
Apology
” A hhh… I can’t believe I’ve completed my exam.” I laughed and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Crispin, don’t you love that feeling when you’ve done the best in your exam? My God, I think I did well. Did you answer question three? That was a bit tough, but I think I did all right.”
“Yeah. It was all right,” Crispin mumbled quietly, walking straight ahead.
Oh, what have I done! Crispin was still mad at me. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be this quiet. And Crispin being quiet was just odd. It didn’t suit his character. I must have hurt him at the amusement park a few days ago when I took off with Giovanni without telling him.
Who’s to blame but me? I should have texted him or something to let him know I was fine. I was such a bad friend.
I watched as he got swallowed by the crowd of students coming out of the exam hall. His shoulders drooped like a sad cat. Poor Crispin.
Maybe I should say something. Anything to cheer up his awful mood. But what should I say?
“Crispin?” I ran after him. “You still mad at me?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Look. I’m sorry. Somehow, my landlord found me, and we came to a compromise, and I went back to my apartment.” I spewed out my explanation before he could say a word. “Can you forgive me?”
He didn’t say anything but kept walking farther.
Something in my heart constricted. I felt guilty. Guilty for treating him like he didn’t matter to me.
But he does. Crispin means more to me than simply a good friend. We’ve been together through thick and thin. More thick than thin, actually. He’s like my brother from another mother.
The longer I watched him walk farther away from me, the more my heart constricted, as if his heart and mine were linked by an invisible thread, the friendship thread. This thread was slowly breaking. I couldn’t let this happen. Not between us. So, I ran after him.
Backpack slung over one shoulder, I pushed through the thick crowd of students milling around the archway that intersected our main exam halls.
I saw his brown head bobbing among the crowd. Stretching my arm, I caught him and pulled him to the side, to a quiet corner where we could talk without interruptions.
“You still mad at me, Crispin?” I asked pathetically.
I was scared. I didn’t want to lose Crispin. There were so many instances I had to lie to him to get myself out of situations. And it all boiled down to my relationship with Giovanni.
I didn’t want Crispin to know about my other life. Well, not yet anyway. I didn’t think anyone in my circle could accept my decision to become the lover of the mafia boss, the most fearsome man in the whole of New York City.
“No,” he said, looking away. His face held a somber expression.
“Look at me and tell me you’re not mad at me, ’cause otherwise, I’ll think you’re still mad at me.” Okay, I didn’t want to cry, but at this point who was I kidding.
“Crispin… please. Please tell me.” My voice begged as I pronounced those words.
“Hell! Jenny, don’t look like that.”
“Like what?” I gazed at his hazy sight, trying to stop this awful lump from forming in my throat.
“Like you’re about to cry.” He pointed out.
“Am I?”
“Yes.” He dragged his fingers through his hair a few times until the strands spiked up like Sonic the Hedgehog, then gently held me at arm’s length.
“It’s not your fault, Jenny. It’s me.”
“Oh!” That was a surprise. I didn’t expect that.
“I want to help you.” Another ‘oh’ escaped my lips. “And right now, I don’t have the necessary skills to help you…”
I didn’t hear the rest of his speech. Or, more like I couldn’t focus on what he said because that single phrase ‘I want to help you … ” made that tiny muscle in my heart sing.
Yes, he’d helped me out when I ran away from Giovanni. He’d given me a place to stay while I escaped my own problems, but to hear him say out loud and clear he was mad with himself because he didn’t have the ability to help me, astounded me.
I was so overcome with this blissful feeling in my heart I somehow became teary-eyed again. I did not expect to react like this. Maybe it was because no one in my family had ever said they wanted to help me. But Crispin, he genuinely wanted to. Maybe he knew all along about all the tough shit I’d gone through. He had just kept quiet because he didn’t want to worry me.
I was so happy, I couldn’t stop the smile from forming on my face, and before I knew it, I had Crispin’s body enveloped in my arms, hugging him with all my might.
What took me by surprise was Crispin’s reaction. He went stiff as a board.
“Crispin. Thanks for everything. You’re one of the best things that has happened to me,” I said softly, slowing coming out of our embrace. But before I could pull out completely, he surprised me by lunging forward and giving me the hug of my life, almost knocking the breath out of me.
Crispin didn’t reply; he just hugged me for the longest time, squeezing me like I was a doll. I could hear his heavy breathing, like he was running a long marathon. Still, I kept quiet and let him hug me. If this was the way to redeem myself in his eyes, then I was happy to stay like this.
Ever so gently, I felt his fingers thread through my hair.
“Jenny, thanks for letting me be one of the special things that happen in your life,” he said next to my ear, while his other hand continued stroking my hair, soft light strokes. It gave me the impression that I was a cat and he was stroking my fur to comfort me.
Wait? Shouldn’t I be the one comforting him?
I waited three heartbeats before I disengaged myself from his embrace.
“You’ll always be someone special to me,” I said from where I stood. “More than a friend. Like a brother.”
“So, I’ve been upgraded to a brother?” he teased.
“Yes. A brother from another mother,” I declared with triumph.
“Yeah, right.” And Crispin was all smiles and lopsided grin again.
“So, you forgive me?” I asked, waiting for his verdict.
“We’re even,” he said, which made me smile like a dork. “But just don’t run off like that without telling me again. I’m…”
“Worried,” I finished his sentence. Taking his hands in mine, I gazed into his eyes, focusing all my attention on him. “I know. And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I won’t run off somewhere without telling you. I owe you that much.”
“Well, just keeping me updated on your life once in a while would be fine,” Crispin commented, and I watched his face grow scarlet red.
Crispin let go of my hand and started coughing.
“You okay?” I asked, patting his back.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, then suddenly changed the subject. “You hungry?”
And right on cue, my stomach roared.
“Hahaha…” I laughed, holding my belly so it would stop with the embarrassing growl. “Thought you were never going to ask. I’ve been hungry since the exam. Food is definitely calling me. Crispin, dear, please take me to food.”
I linked my arm with his, and we walked like when we were kids, back in the good old days, arms linked, faces smirking at each other.
“Food it is. I’ll take you to a nice place. Hope you like it.” He shot a smile in my direction.
“You could take me anywhere, and I would love the food.”NôvelDrama.Org is the owner.