Chapter 109
"I wish you could tell me your name," I whispered against his soft tufts of hair, forgetting where I was... and who I was with. Xaden tutted, wearing a look of mock disapproval.© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.
And I blanched, realizing how insane I must've come across, even if this was only a dream.
"Did you hear that?" he teasingly asked our cooing son, who was apparently happy for even the slightest bit of attention." Your mama is a little out of it today."
My mouth opened to weakly protest. "I... I didn't..."
It was ridiculous-I felt like the worst mother alive because I couldn't envision my own baby's face... his own name. But this was only a dream. Neither a face nor a name would ever be able to come to mind because they didn't exist, nor was there even a tangible baby in my arms to begin with, but... how could I explain that here?
How could I possibly explain to the Xaden in my dream, more bliss-soaked and euphoric than I'd ever seen him before, that none of this was real?
Real or not, I couldn't bear to break his heart.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it," he murmured, suddenly beside me, pressing a sweet kiss on my cheek. "You must still be drowsy from your nap." "Y-Yes," I answered slowly, "that must be it."
"I suppose that's my fault. After all, I'm the reason you stayed up so late."
I blushed, tearing my gaze away as I was suddenly flooded with flashes from last night. At least that part still rang true even in this dream world.
"I'll never forget it," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice. "The night I gave you your ring."
My brow creased, puzzled. My ring?
Carefully adjusting the baby in my arms, I held my left hand out where, sure enough, the only ring on my finger was the one Xaden gifted me last night. "But... that can't be right..." I said. "You gave me this ring last-I mean, when I was only a month pregnant."
Xaden was quiet for a long, drawn-out moment, apparently lost in thought. His gaze swept over me, taking in every detail he could amid the glowing gardens around us, before flickering over to the blurred face of our son. And then, he chuckled softly. "Strange," he mused, warmth in his voice and light in his eyes. "It feels like only yesterday."
That's because it was, I wanted to say, but I let it be.
The baby in my arms began to babble and grunt again, patting his small hands against my chest, once again capturing my full attention. I could feel his gaze on me, even when all I could see were fuzzy features, and I thrived under it. His hands then lifted to my neck... stretching out his little fingers to touch my chin but not quite long enough to reach.
My heart melted. I lowered my face to allow him easier access, letting him gently pat his way around as he inspected me.
I smiled, searching the blank surface of his face for something... anything, even if my efforts were for naught. "That's right..." I breathed, not wanting to startle him. “I'm yours."
And then I remembered-again-that we were not alone.
"I'm sorry," I said sheepishly. "I hijacked your walk." I began to turn my gaze to Xaden, my long black hair swinging loosely over my shoulder as I continued to hold my baby tight in my arms. "Where did you...?"
I trailed off, the words dying in my throat once I finally realized why he had been so quiet.
There, mere inches away from where I stood with my arms and heart full, stood Xaden... and he was just... watching us. Like we were the most mesmerizing sight he'd ever seen. There was a deep serenity that calmed his normally intense features. I'd never seen him look like this before.
I let out a nervous giggle. "Why are you staring?"
Xaden's body heaved with a slow, helpless shrug, not once tearing away from me. “You two are... everything I never knew I needed,” he said simply.
I blushed, finding myself, not for the first time, flustered by him just being... him. How could I possibly respond to such a sentiment?
All of a sudden, I felt a bright warmth envelop me in its embrace. Close and persistent, but not at all suffocating. It was like being caressed by a soft blanket... the kind that reminded one of being held by-
-oh. This wasn't just a stray sunbeam.
It felt wonderful and familiar. That same sort of comfort that I got when listening to that voice from my dreams.
I let out a breath, my gaze washing over the skies above me, the nature that surrounded me. Even if I couldn't hear the voice, it was still here, I still felt its presence like a guardian angel.
It was here.
Xaden was here.
My baby was here.
And everything felt... perfect.
We spent our day not barred behind the privacy and security of walls and doors, afraid to be seen together, but in the limitless freedom of our garden, where we could just be ourselves. There were no titles or responsibilities here to separate us. No looming fear of being caught by prying eyes with cruel intentions.
We were not held hostage by our secrets.
We were just us... savoring the comfort we found and created with each other, and soaking in the moments we had with our son, living and breathing and real in this wonderful dream world.
I wanted to stay here forever. But if this was, in fact, just a dream, then I could only wish to be so lucky.
If this was truly what awaited me in the future...
I would count the days until it became my reality.