The Alpha’s Substitute Mate

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Malcolm squeezed me and dropped his head onto my hair. ” This is like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from,” he said tiredly. ” Have you eaten?” I shook my head. I had picked at the breakfast tray and skipped lunch. ” I’ll ask one of the maids to bring some food to my chambers. “Let’s go.”

He lifted me off his lap and enveloped my hand in his and together we left the Alpha’s office. We passed my chambers, where I had lived alone across the hall from Arden, and went down the east wing where his chamber is located.

His chamber hadn’t changed much since the last time I’d sat inside it. It seemed like years ago since the first day I stepped my feet inside. ” I need a shower,” he mumbled, led me to the bed, and settled me there.

He was already pulling off his shirt before he reached the bathroom. I watched his sexy muscular back recede into the bathroom. After a few minutes, there was a knock, and I opened it to find an unfamiliar omega pushing a cart filled with food trays. Seeing her there, with her eyes downcast and her rather unfriendly demeanor made me miss Violet. I missed her bright smile, crazy blonde curls, and cheerful attitude. I thanked the omega and wheeled the cart into the room.

I set the food out on the table while I listened to the water running in the shower. There were salads, stuffed peppers smothered in cheese, garlic bread, and desserts. There was only one chair, which I left for him and I sat back on the bed. After a few minutes, Malcolm emerged, his black hair was wet and slicked back, and his sculpted chest was bare, and sprinkled with droplets of water and a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. He sank into the chair but seemed unsatisfied with our seating arrangement.

” Please, come here.” I came closer and he pulled me down on his lap again and this time my legs straddled his, and I was facing him. He looped his arms behind my hips to hold me in place and just held me. “I’ve missed you, Bella. I’m sorry, I couldn’t get away and be with you…”

I shook my head and bit my lips. I wanted to tell him that it was okay but the truth was I had felt really lonely and scared over the last few days and I was still feeling fearful and uncertain.

I’m no longer certain of what our future held together but for the moment I was wrapped up in his arms, listening to his heartbeat was more than enough.

He sighed, and I could see how tired he was. ” Let’s eat, so you can get some rest,” I suggested, ” Tomorrow is going to be a hard day.”

“Yeah,” was all he could say, and then he rearranged us a bit so we could easily reach the food. Even though I had barely eaten for the last two days, I still didn’t feel very hungry. Instead, I channeled my energy into feeding him. It was a very intimate thing, to feed someone, to slide the fork in between his teeth, to wipe the drop of sauce from his lips. I felt guilty for feeling turned on by it. He immediately snuck a bite into my mouth, coaxing me to eat. When he was full and satisfied I cleared away the dishes. I packed everything back into the cart, took it out of the room, and left it in the hallway. While I was cleaning up, he stretched out on his bed and watched me move around with half-closed eyes.

“Bella,” he groaned, ” I need you, please.”

His words were like igniting a fire on a wax candle and I completely melted. I quickly went to the lavatory, washed my hands and quickly brushed my teeth, and then joined him on the bed. I wrapped myself around his warm, hard body. He snuggled me close and mumbled something then he slept off. Sometime in the night, he woke me up, with his warm hands stroking my skin. The places his hand touched birthed a spark of wildfires that began to grow, coursing through my entire body and sending jolts of unexplainable feelings. This was a different kind of lovemaking, he wasn’t seeking pleasure rather he was seeking relief, comfort, and reassurance. My back was pressed against his front, so he shifted my dress and entered me smoothly from behind. He started out slowly and gently but all of a sudden all his feelings came up and began to overwhelm him, he began to thrust faster, his pace more frantic, and his need for release was desperate. When he finally exploded, I cried out in ecstasy and went with him, our bodies shaking and spasming together. He pulled out and kissed the back of my neck while smoothing my hair.

Hot tears escaped from my eyes, ran across the bridge of my nose, and wet my pillow. These were selfish tears now, I was crying for myself and everything that had gone wrong. I was crying because I would leave the pack after the funeral and I might never make love to Malcolm again. The fear within me formed a pointed-edged sword puncturing deep into my soul just the utter realization that I might not see Malcolm again.

Though I didn’t expect him to go with me. Malcolm was steady and responsible and he loved his family and his pack. I knew he loved me too, just as I loved him too. But I knew he loved his family and pack first and I didn’t want to put him in a situation where he had to choose. I gently stroked his unruly hair off his forehead and brushed my fingers over his soft lips, igniting sparks and tingles.

” What if I had to live without him?” If these past days were anything to go by, life alone was going to be hard and painful. But this time around I would make my decisions and bear the consequences of it.