Scarred Luna

Kieran’s POV

I sucked in a deep breath, allowing the air to circulate around my lungs and every other part where it was needed. My heart thundered under my chest, it had been like that for a while now. No matter what I did to try to get it back to it’s normal pace, it just didn’t work. The moment I thought about it, it would spike up again, its speed threatening to tear a hole through my chest.

That bastard. It was all his fault.

I always thought I’d healed and forgotten about all that happened, but, as I allowed my mind the liberty of going over what happened between Xander and I, a couple of hours ago, I realized I was wrong. Very wrong.

A sigh slid past my lips. It wasn’t his fault, neither was it my fault. I guess I just had to go through some things to fully understand my potential in life.

Lies. All of that were just lies and a bunch of bullshit.

How in the world were different kinds of assaults and abuses supposed to help me reach my full potential? Ever since I got here, I’d done everything in my power not to remember it, but apparently, I wasn’t doing enough. If I was, then there was no way Xander’s hands on my hips would be able to send me spiraling back down the memory lane of when I was being abused by Alpha Lucas.

Even the very thought of him was more than enough to strike fear in my heart. He was ruthless as he was cruel, and somehow, I felt like I was the only one who’d seen the worst side of him. From being his play thing, to forcing me to have sex with him, the beatings and the tortures, everything struck a new found fear in me.

But how and why did I remember all of this when Xander touched me? I didn’t mean to, not at all, but somehow I just couldn’t control the memories from popping up again. Xander was in no way like Alpha Lucas, so why?

A sigh slid past my lips as I slouched a bit. Water drops fell onto my bare back immediately and I jumped. I’d totally forgotten where I was and I found myself smiling a bit.

A small smile made it’s way to my lips as I stared ahead. The beautiful view of a variety of flowers caught my eyes, alongside the wonderful fragrance of each one wafting into my nostrils. I always loved coming to the garden because it helped clear my mind of every anxiety whatsoever. And with the streaks the sun made as it slowly descended back into his hiding spot for the night, it made the whole garden look like a fairytale captured on a canvas.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it.” I froze at the sound of someone’s voice behind me. If I hadn’t heard it clearly, I could have sworn the sound of water rushing from the fountain behind me was making me hear things. But of course I wasn’t, I’d heard someone speak and it was a man. A man whom I recognized his voice, even if I was in a coma. “The sky, birds, nature. It’s all so beautiful.”

“Yeah.” My voice was barely a whisper as it bounced off the background behind me. I nodded, but felt stupid after I realized he couldn’t quite see me.

A wave of silence rolled into the air surrounding us. Asides the birds chirping in the distance and the sound of my heart thumping loudly against my chest, I couldn’t hear anything else, until he decided to break the silence.

“Did I hurt you, Kieran?” Xander’s voice was soft and with the backdrop the fountain created, he sounded almost angelic. “I had no idea why you suddenly ran off, but if I did, I want you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to in any way.”

“No.” Tears pricked the back of my eyes as I breathed out wordlessly. “You… you didn’t hurt me at all. It’s not your fault.”

Curse Alpha Lucas. I was no longer with him, but somehow I was still paying for the abuse he melted out on me. In fact, not only was I still under his grip, I was subconsciously pushing away the only person I wanted close. Xander

But that wasn’t all. Somehow, he didn’t mind at all. If he did, he wouldn’t be on the other side of the fountain trying to figure out what he’d done wrong.

“Whose fault is it then?” I shut my eyes at his question. Was he really that clueless? For sure Sabrina would have filled in him on details like what pack I was from and the rest, but I guess she really couldn’t say everything about me because she didn’t know either. “You know you can talk to me right?”

Yes, but I wasn’t sure I was ready to share that part of my life yet.

The sound of shuffling reached my ears and the moment I peeled my eyes open, I got the biggest shock of my life.

“Argh!” I screamed as Xander’s face came into view. He was no longer seated behind the fountain but he was now next to me. “Alpha Xander you scared me.”

“Just like the way I scared you a couple of hours ago?” I locked eyes with him and in that split second, I could see the genuine concern in his eyes. “i really didn’t mean to scare you … honestly, but don’t you think you need to tell me what happened back there?”

“Well.” I drawled. After letting out a couple of sighs, I continued. “I haven’t exactly had it easy in life. In my former pack, I, I was…”

A huge lump formed at the base of my throat. Thinking about it was more than enough to ruin my mood for days, so what the hell would happen if I managed to voice it out? It was going to ruin my life for sure.

“Kieran.” My eyes bulged as Xander intertwined his hand with mine. They were soft, too soft and I found myself melting into his touch. “You can tell me. I promise.”

“I was abused.” I rushed out the words immediately. It was better to rush it out then wait for the impending judgement. “It started from a really young age and…”

The rest of my words became mere thoughts as Xander pressed his lips against mine. My eyes bulged immediately. Never in a million years did I see that coming. My anxiety levels spiked upwards as my brain scrambled for what to do. Luckily for me, I didn’t have to think too much because the moment Xander’s tongue moved over my lower lip, I folded immediately.

I parted my lips, only slightly, but it was more than enough for Xander to slip his tongue through. I moaned into his mouth as he pulled me closer against him. His breath fanned my cheek as he captured my earlobe in between his teeth, grazing the outer surface of my ear.

“None of those things matter, Kieran.” Goosebumps lined the surface of my skin as he whispered in my ear. “Nothing will ever change the way I look at you and I will never hurt you.”

I wasn’t sure which was more surprising; the tone of his voice or the way it sounded like he actually meant what he’d just said. Whatever the reason was, I would be lying if I said it didn’t warm a part of my heart.

I surrendered myself fully to the man in front of me, letting his lips take the lead. This night had turned out in a way I didn’t expect, but apparently I was still in for more surprises.

“Alpha Xander.” Someone shrieked, causing us to pull apart. “Kieran?”

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