Pregnant For My Bully

Amelia Forbes

I’d resorted to going out more often, as it was the only way to clear my head. I could feel myself give up more and more as the days went by, although I didn’t want to.

The school had emailed Nana about my grades and Nana and I had had a long talk about it. Her trying to find out if anything was wrong with me, me trying to concentrate on her words and not the pain from the hole in my chest.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

So here I was this evening, walking round the town for the fifth time this week and finally coming to a stop in front of a liquor store.

There was a free bench directly opposite the store so I sat there, watching people move in and out of store, while trying not to think about how messed up my life was.

As I watched the store, a familiar looking girl walked through the doors-dressed in an oversized hoodie, similar joggers and a beanie-clutching a bottle of alcohol wrapped in brown paper in her left hand.

A sigh escaped me as I saw that it was Dani.

Please just keep walking, I begged.

Unluckily for me, she saw me and walked directly to where I sat, lowering herself onto the bench right next to me.

“Hey.” She said, popping the bottle open and taking a sip.

I shook my head. “Please, I thought I told you already. I’m not in the mood. We’re not even in school but you guys still want to pick on me. Can’t you just let me be?” I said, more tired than angry.

“Hey.” I could hear the surprise in her voice. “I tried to explain it to you the last time. Yeah I hang out with them sometimes, but it doesn’t mean we’re friends. And if bullying you is their idea of fun then they’re a bunch of idiots.” She said, taking another huge gulp of beer.

I still didn’t trust her but that was enough for me, so I kept quiet.

She passed the bottle to me, “Want some?”

My eyes widened. “No thanks.”

After the last time at that stupid party, alcohol was a no for me. I’m never doing that again.

Dani let out a boisterous laugh, gulping down the last of the alcohol and tossing the bottle into the trash can.

Standing swiftly she asked. “You ever ridden a motorbike before?”

As I raised an eyebrow in confusion, still trying to figure out the best way to answer the strange question, she tugged on my arm, bringing me to my feet and leading me to a black, shiny motorbike parked close by.

I shook my head. “No I haven’t.”

I hoped she wasn’t about to make me. . .

“Well then get on,” She said, climbing on top and starting the engine.

I hesitated. Was getting on a motorbike with a strange girl who might or might not be cohorts with your bullies a good idea?

No.

But I asked, “What about helmets?”

Dani laughed loudly. “The point of this, yeah? Is the thrill when the cool breeze hits you sharp in the face. Better than a fucking orgasm, trust me.”

She held out her hand.

I didn’t trust her one bit, and the roaring of the engine was terrifying. But I grasped onto her hand and allowed her help me get on.

I’d gone through hell already, so what more could scare me?

I held tightly onto her as she zoomed off.

“We’re flying, Ammy!” She screamed as she swerved into a bend, making a circle as we got to a roundabout.

I pretended not to hear the nickname, concentrating on the feeling on wind on my cheeks, wind in my hair.

It was exhilarating. It was as though the thoughts in my head were flying away with the wind. If I shouted or cried right now, no one would know. Not even Dani.

So I let the weight on my chest fall, flying from the corner of my shoulders and into the wind. I let out a watery chuckle. I’ve never felt so free.

I let out an ecstatic yell, letting go of Dani’s waist and letting my arms fly free.

Dani turned around to look at me, whooping and smiling when she saw me laughing.

As she made another turn, we both screamed. It was like riding a rollercoaster.

Like that, we made detours; the park, Matty’s-where we got yogurt and had an impromptu picnic behind an abandoned tow truck, where I learned that Dani was a bookworm too, but only when it came to novels-then the rest of the town, before heading back to the liquor store.

We retook our position on the old bench we had sat in before.

For a while we didn’t speak. Then Dani broke the silence by letting out a light chuckle.

Something poked me in the chest and I braced myself for her little speech where she’d laugh at me for being so stupid to think that she actually liked having me around.

“You’re kinda fun, you know?” She said, still chuckling. “And you’re really smart too. It felt good to have a reasonable conversation for once.”

She turned to me. “Remind me why you don’t have any friends again?”

I only stared at her, not knowing what to say. I really wanted to trust someone for once. But more often than not, people were never nice to me without an ulterior motive.

“What do you really want, Dani?” I questioned her. I still didn’t trust her.

She faced me, taking off her beanie and letting her short, jet-black hair fly free. “I just find you really interesting,” She stated simply.

When I didn’t respond, she continued, “I still don’t get why they bully you. You’re good company. Today proves it.”

I swallowed.

“You know why I admire you even more? Right from the start?” She asked.

The question didn’t require an answer so I didn’t give one.

“They’ve been bullying you for more than a year now, but you know what’s shocking? You’re still here.” She smiled brightly.

“A lot of people would have given up, transferred to a different school, or even taken their own life. . .” She trailed off, gazing into space.

“But you,” She laughed. “You never miss school. Yeah, you cry in public sometimes. But you’re still here, taking it all. If that’s not courage, I don’t know what is.” She finished, giving me a sad smile.

I didn’t know what to say. I’d never thought of it like that. And now she mentioned it, I realized that no matter how scared I felt, I really never missed school as an excuse.

Dani jumped up, stretching. ” I have to go now. See you at school?” She asked hopefully.

Before I could answer she said, “Let me rephrase that. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Amelia.”

I let out a laugh without meaning to. Dani gave a short dramatic bow before getting on her bike.

“Want me to drop you off?” She asked, starting the engine.

I managed to shake my head in dissent still unsure about everything. Still reflecting, I sunk into the bench and watched her speed off.