Chapter 43: 43. I Love you
Chapter 43: 43. I Love you
Ravi's PoV
Anni is all sad and I don’t want to see her like this. Involving her in her work will make her forget this problem with bro for a while. So, I decided to help her. I googled about the 3 companies that stole Karthik bro's projects. I got the details of the owners. I should go from there. It will be an easy catch if any of our employees are in touch with these 3 owners. I asked Anni to look for everyone in the office. Watching only the 3 people she said will not help us. Also, I told anni to gather more details on the loss in the last project. Because that was the big hit on the trust people had on Firm Fort.
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I needed him the most. But he just left me and went out the night after Smirthi's call.
“It’s not what you think. Stop crying like this.” He said to me irritated when I gave the phone to him. He left me just like that and went away.
I know he has gone to meet her. But why? I was all ready to give myself to him and he was all ready to take me to himself. He just threw me away again for her. I deserve it. Before understanding each other, I allowed him to do everything. All of me needed him. I feel so cheap on myself now. I'm desperate for him. For his love, For his touches, I really want him to make love to me. Is it wrong to expect it from a man I love? From the man who is my husband? Why is it happening to me? What did he mean by it’s not what I think? Whatever it is, is it not wrong having contact with an ex? He got so angry and hurt when he thought I was talking to Praveen. Why can’t he put him in my shoes?
I decided to stay away from him. I should go away once this 5 months time gets over. I must try for a good job far away from this place. I must make up a story that is believable and not blaming completely on Rishi to tell to my family. They will be shattered when they get to know that he is still in contact with his ex. I cannot even imagine blaming him and degrading him in front of my family because it was me who took this decision to marry him. So I have only 5 more months to be with him and I must make the
most of it. I should stop expecting things from him. I should collect memories that will last this whole life.
Come on, D. Rishi can't even sleep without you. Stop thinking like this and start to think about how to win him over.
My mind always thinks the opposite to me. It is like fighting with yourself.
Ravi is trying hard to bring me back to my normal self. Atleast, I can be of help to Karthik. So, I decided to concentrate on the work. I stopped talking to him. He didn’t bother me, either. He didn’t even come to drop and pick me from the office. He sent his driver. I felt good too. It’s hard for me to ignore him.
It’s Saturday. I watched everyone except design team members. No one has any guilt. I also found that the contractor for working labors on the field has cheated Karthik in the final project. They didn’t buy all the cement and stuff needed in a go. Through the time of the project, the prices of cements and bricks have gone up. Since they didn’t buy them whole, they got a huge money loss and time loss.
I was explaining this to Karthik in his room when my hubby came in with Smirthi. How dare he? So since I stopped talking to him, he has resumed his old practice of hanging out with her? That audacity of this man, he brought her here knowing that I will for sure get to know this. He deliberately wants to hurt me? Karthik's face changed to pity on seeing me. I'm not a weak girl.
"Ok Karthik, you carry on. Just change the contractor. He sure is working to bring you down. Ask your resource manager to look for someone new. New people will do good in their work to prove themselves. Will see you later." I excused myself from that room completely disregarding Rishi’s presence.
He just nodded at me. I know he feels bad for me. I came out. I need to be alone now. Who am I to him? What is he doing with her? I saw her. She has her eyes on Rishi, only on him. Her eyes show all emotions to him. She loves him. She is not faking it. He came very late on that night after he left me.
What is so urgent that it could not wait until morning? If he needs her, then I should go away. I came in between them. If I had said no on that day, then he might have married her. I'm the intruder here.
Nothing to blame him. He didn’t even recognize me. Janani is on leave today and I was alone in the room. I just wanted to cry. If her love is true, then he will be happy with her. I should leave him just as I thought. I made myself up quickly when I heard a door knock. Gowtham came in.
"Anya, Are you ok?" he asked me.
That is what I needed to break. I broke into tears.
"No, senior. I'm not ok." I sobbed in front of him. I felt so low and ashamed. He didn’t wait even a second. He just grabbed my shoulders and made me sit. He stood so close to me that I buried my face in his stomach.
"Please Anya. calm down." He patted my head.
"We will see what to do. Don’t cry Anya. I have taken you for my sister when you tied rakhi in our college. As a brother, I'm sure to knock some sense into your husband. How can he do this to you?"
"He is not the one to blame, senior. It's all me. He said no to this wedding and I said yes. I am now reaping the consequences of my stupidity. I deserve it!"
"My sister is not a coward. You gotta fight back dear. Don’t cry like a baby."
He pulled my cheeks on both sides that made me look funny. I smiled at him. He is trying to cheer me up. I have already decided to go away. So, I should not let it hurt me this bad.
"So, did you tell Janani that you love her?" I asked him in between my sobs.
"What? How did you know?" he asked me, shocked.
"You are so obvious, senior. Janani is a beautiful girl. Propose her before someone else does. I think she knows too."
"You have eagle eyes Anya. Recommend for me to her please."
"Haha Sorry, senior. That's your job. If you ask me to do your job, then I may do something like I did to Micheal bro." I said laughing at him. He started chasing me.
"God, No thank you." he said.
He held my hands twisting it to my back and I started shouting. The door opened and I saw my furious husband.
"What the hell are you doing? This is an office. Not a playground. You are coming here to work. Not to play with men around here. Better behave yourself." he yelled straight in.
"It's not what you think, Mr. Rishi!" Gowtham started to explain. But Rishi doesn't deserve an explanation, he always comes to a judgement so soon. He can't yell at Gowtham like that. Gowtham is my brother. He stood up for me. I should defend him. I stopped Gowtham.
"Senior, You don’t have to explain. I will meet you for lunch."
He looked at me and I nodded him to go. He left.
“Danya, you are testing my patience. Everytime I try to reconcile with you, you make it worse than it already was. Look, about Smirthi, she is si…” I am done with him and I am not in a mood to heed his stories. He is going to justify tagging along with his ex.
"Stop it, Rishi. Am I testing your patience? No, you are. How dare you bring her here? You want to hurt me? Know this, nothing you do will hurt me. You always talk and think filthy about me when you are the
worst. You will go to her in the middle of the night but I can’t talk to anyone? If you can go to her anytime as you want, then I will be with anyone I want too. You have no right to question me. Who gave you the right to yell at Karthik's employee? You better behave yourself." I told him, looking him in the eye. He came near me and grabbed my arm. God he is hurting.
"You blame me? Alright, yes, I went to her to satisfy my needs. And I know that you are a characterless girl. How many of them do you have behind you? Hari, Praveen, Rohit and now this man. And how dare you question my authority here?" he spat out the words on my face.
How did he know about Hari? How dare he call me characterless? He is a terrible man to be with. He doesn’t deserve an explanation. But my heart is wounded badly that he is thinking so badly of me.
"Let me go, Rishi. You are hurting. You hurt my arm. You hurt my heart. You hurt my soul. It's irreparable! Hear me out now. I won’t explain myself to you anymore. Hari is my college senior. He was in love with me. I never had him in my heart. I even told my friend to tell him that I married a more eligible man than him, so that he will get past me. You know why I said that? I don't like him even thinking about me. Praveen? I had never seen him before that day in the mall. He came to me and introduced himself. Rohit? He is Roshan's dad. Roshan is my only company around our home. I tolerate him for Roshan. Not that I enjoy his looks on me like you said. And Gowtham? He is my senior in college too. But he is like my brother. And to your additional information, he loves Karthik's PA Janani. You know what? I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART! But you killed my soul saying I'm a characterless girl. I hate you now, Rishi. I hate you more than anything in this world. You are right. We should get divorce. I won’t make any trouble to you anymore. Once after I'm gone you can marry Smirthi. She loves you truly. I see it in her eyes. Be happy, Rishi. I should not have come in between you two. I was foolish to think that you love me too. After all, you didn’t even recognize me!"
I freed myself forcefully from him and grabbed my bag and ran out of the office. I just walked on the roads. I don’t know where I'm going. But I just wanted to go far away from him.