The weight of Regret
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Ethan’s POV
The words stabbed at me like a knife to the chest. As much as I hated to hear them, as much as they pained me, it was just the plain truth. The truth, they say, is always bitter.
I felt an aching in my chest. Yes, I really did abandon her. I broke the mate bond, even knowing how much it would hurt after being severed. And still, I did it. Why? Love? No. That wasn’t love. It must have been infatuation, lust, or deceit. Whatever it was, I couldn’t call it love. Love isn’t deceptive.
“Do you know how to find her?” I asked.
“My lord, we do not know where she is. Please, my lord, I came for my daughter,” Lauren’s mother pleaded.
I acted as though I hadn’t heard her. I was furious-at them, at myself. I regretted breaking the mate bond. Even if I could bring Lauren back to this palace, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t stand the thought of looking into the face of someone who had slept with my Beta. Not just my Beta-my friend. I didn’t even know what they did to him.
“My lord, please have mercy on your subject’s soul,” her father begged.
I finally spoke. “I don’t have the power to bring her back to town. She was banished by the Elder Council. I wasn’t even present when they made that decision, so there’s nothing I can do.”
“My lord! You are the ruling Alpha and the king of this great town. I don’t think there is any law or decree you cannot break. Kings are above laws and punishment!” Lauren’s father insisted.
Disgust filled me as I looked at him.
“How dare you say such a thing, Elder. Is that how you break laws, too? I am a king and your ruling Alpha, but I am not above the law. I am not above punishment. These laws and punishments were established by my forefathers, and they are mostly purposeful.”
“Do you know why the council carries out punishments, or why they can decide how to punish offenders, with or without the king’s presence?” I asked.
They both shook their heads, signaling they didn’t know.
“You’re an elder for crying out loud,” I said, frustrated, staring at Lauren’s father. He had once been a member of the Elder Council, and yet he never bothered to learn its history. I wondered how he had even gotten in. The Elder Council is supposed to be made up of the truest wolves in the pack-wolves who are not cunning or backstabbers. You must live an upright life to be among the council, to ensure you’re unbiased in your judgment. They would even judge the ruling Alpha if he broke a law.
“I am not above punishment! And just so you know, the council enforces these punishments because they can also punish me, your ruling Alpha and king,” I declared.
“But my lord-”
I quickly snapped my fingers, signaling that I didn’t want to hear another word. The gesture meant two things: I was indicating to Lauren’s parents that they had overstayed their welcome, and I was notifying the guards to be ready in case they needed to remove some guests from the palace.
“You can leave now. There’s nothing more I can do,” I said, raising my fingers, ready to snap again.
“My lord, you can’t-”
“If you don’t want to be dragged out of this palace in disgrace, I suggest you leave now, while I’m still offering you the last respect as my former Luna’s parents.”
When they hesitated, I snapped my fingers again. Four of my guards immediately appeared.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
“Escort them out. And make sure they never return,” I said, my voice laced with anger.
The guards grabbed them by their arms and legs, hauling them out of the palace and dropping them far from the entrance. I could hear their cries and wails, but I turned a deaf ear. Their problem was no longer mine.
My thoughts returned to my sister, who still lay unhealed. The irony of it all was that the only person who could heal her was someone I hadn’t even expected. Now no one knew where she was. My head throbbed as I couldn’t stop thinking.
‘How am I going to find Lena? Even if I do find her-if she’s still alive-will she be able to forgive me? Will she help heal my sister?’
These questions haunted me.
I called for my new Beta. “I need you to ask everyone you can find about Lena. Find out what happened to her over the past few months. Where does she stay? Who did she marry?”
Deep down, I hoped Lauren’s parents had been lying when they said Lena was pregnant. ‘Could she be carrying a bastard child? Or is she married?’ I wondered.
I wished she hadn’t married. I wished everything they’d said was a lie.
“Ask about everything-her past and present life. I need to know it all,” I added.
“My lord, is this Lena, your supposed mate-the one you rejected?”
I fell silent for a moment, disappointed in myself. I wanted to get angry at my Beta, but I couldn’t. He was only stating the truth.
“Yes, she is the one,” I replied quietly.
“Then we do need her,” he said.
“Yes. Please make sure you gather every single piece of information you can about her-past and present.”
“No problem, your highness. I will leave immediately.” He bowed and left in a hurry.
I could only hope she was still alive. The last time I saw her, she looked pale, like she had been suffering, like she needed help. But I had been blinded by foolishness and lust. I hadn’t paid attention to her suffering. Instead, I went ahead and rejected her-like the fool I was.
If I were Lena, I wouldn’t forgive myself either. I would definitely hate myself and even kill me.
I had never prayed for anything before but I prayed, I prayed that Lena’s still alive and somewhere good.