Love, Milo

‘Gia!’

I climb the stairs to the second floor of this bar, my voice bouncing off the hallway’s walls.

I can barely take steps forward because of how much I’m fucking shaking.

He was right there. I recognize him; his face is the same, besides the excessive aging he’s gone through. I recognize his voice, the same one that convinced me to go to his bedroom while drinking shitless.

The same man who gave me his baby unwillingly.

He was sitting right in front of me.

No care in his cocaine-filled black eyes. He didn’t even acknowledge my existence, let alone recognize me.

It was only two years ago, yet he’s completely forgotten my face.

I wanted to reach across the table and dig my fingernails into his face. Brutalize his image like he’s done mine from the inside out.

I wanted to scream and make him know the pain and hurt he’s caused me the past two years.

He ruined everything, and I thought I’d never see him again. Yet, there he was, at the table.

I wanted to tell Milo or wanted him to realize it. But I was lost for the words to say it.

Milo’s drinking didn’t help; he’s completely oblivious, and It’s all my fault.

I should’ve told him as soon as I heard that voice on the phone.

‘Gia!’ I shout again, walking through these floor doors.

I’m met with a narrow apartment building-like hallway and silence.

My footsteps make little to no noise as I walk towards one door, realizing it is an empty bathroom, then to another door.

I put my ear against the door just as I hear a scream— Gia’s scream.

‘GIA!’ I shout, twisting the knob and barging into the room.

Panting, I look between Jaden and Gia, holding pool sticks and standing beside a pool table. The entire room seems to be some sort of game room.

Gia looks up at me and smiles. ‘Raelynn? You wanna play? I just shot the 8 Ball in!’

But my eyes are on Jaden.

And his eyes are on me.

He points at me and tilts his head with low eyes. ‘Do I know you from somewhere?’

I swallow. He’s playing with me. He must remember. You can’t just forget you’ve done that to someone.

Gia looks between us. ‘Do you guy?’

‘Gia, can you step out in the hallway, please,’ I ask, my eyes still on Jaden.

‘Uh… sure.’ She lowers her pool stick on the table and closes the door behind her.

Jaden raises his eyebrows. ‘We chatting now? Or playing?’ He questions. ‘Or do you have somethin’ else in mind?’ His smirk makes me want to peel every inch of skin off his body.

‘You don’t remember, do you?’ I try my hardest to keep my voice straight, my nails digging into my palm as I speak quietly.

He leans against the table. ‘Remember what?’

My eyes sting, but I hold the tears back.

I need to do this.

‘That day.’ I step only a few inches closer, leaving him still across the room. ‘Two years ago.’

He throws a hand up and shakes his head. ‘College? I got nothin’. You have to be specific. What I do— Rob your house? Steal your drugs—’

‘You raped me,’ I barely whisper, my eyes filling with tears., cutting him off.

He stops leaning and squints his eyes as if trying to remember.

‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ He steps closer.

‘At your party. At your house. In your bedroom. I woke up with no c—clothes on. I was drunk and drugged, but you knew that because you drugged me.’

‘I have no idea who the hell you are. How about you go somewhere else with your story because you got the wrong guy.’

‘Jaden Caddel?’ I voice louder. ‘That’s your name, isn’t it?’

He huffs and laughs breathlessly, not answering.

I shake my head, a tear unwillingly falling down my cheek. From my heartbeat alone, I can pass out right now and faint, but I pray I don’t.

‘You don’t even remember doing it, do you?’ My voice cracks. ‘You don’t remember leaving me with the scars I have on my fucking body? The ones your fingernails caused?’

He runs a hand down his hair and inhales, stepping closer.

I step backward.

‘Listen,’ he says, his voice coarse and dry. Brittle and engrained into my head like a drill. ‘College was a blur for me. But making those accusations—’

‘They’re not accusations!’ I hiss at him. ‘I remember you—’ I break off. ‘Your face for a moment. It’s you. It was you.’

I don’t realize the tears falling down my face until I can barely see them. blinking several times to clear my eyesight.

‘I don’t fucking remember you! So fuck off!’ He shouts back. His voice echoes around the room, it seems. ‘There were so many girls. You’re not the first, alright?’

My eyebrows raise. ‘There were more,’ I whisper more to myself.

I don’t realize it till now how close he is to me. Only an inch or two away. Tall, just as I remember. The smell of alcohol and all sorts of stenches ooz off of him.

He smirks. ‘Yeah, there was more. Does that upset you? That you weren’t the special chosen one? Hm? You were probably wearing some slutty outfit and leading me on the entire party. Just like all of them. And then complain when I give you what you want. Because that’s what I did. I didn’t rape you. It’s not rape if you were asking for it—’

I scream.

Loud.

And in a flash, I launch myself towards him, knocking us both to the ground.

‘You PATHETIC—’ I slash his face with my nails continuously, ‘piece of—’ punch, ‘SHIT!’ I scream again, and this time, I’m stopped by a familiar voice.

‘Raelynn!’ I turn, jumping off of Jaden like he’s acid to my skin, and look at Milo in the doorway, Gia behind him, crying.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

She must’ve heard it all and went to get help.

Milo’s eyes darken with something I’ve never seen before when he lays eyes on Jaden on the floor.

He knows now. He knows more than anyone the pain I’ve gone through. He’s seen firsthand the damage the pathetic man on the floor left behind.

Jaden groans like he just got melted by fire, ‘My fucking face.’ His hands wipe the blood dripping from the scratches on him.

I can’t control the anger fuming off me, I wanted to do more.

I wanted to kill him.

Milo walks up to Jaden and kneels beside him. ‘You’re gonna have a lot more to complain about when I’m finished with your ass.’

Jaden laughs mischievously. ‘You fuck me up, and you go to jail, so go ahead. Do your damage. Not like you can prove anything I did.’

Milo’s chest heaves, and he looks at me as if asking permission.

Even now, when I know everything in him wants as much revenge for what he put me through, he gets my approval.

I slip out my phone from my pocket and look down at the voice recording that’s been recording for the past ten minutes.

I end it.

Rewinding to the part that is more valuable than punches ever could be:

‘Yeah, there was more. Does that upset you? That you weren’t the special chosen one? Hm? You were probably wearing some slutty outfit and leading me on the entire party. Just like all of them. And then complain when I give you what you want. Because that’s what I did. I didn’t rape you. It’s not rape if you were asking for it—’

I stop it and look at Jaden. The color drained from his face satisfies me.

I’m finally winning.

And I’m feeling so fucking good.