28. July 25
AURELIA
I thought I knew sorrow and understood the feeling of loss. I thought life had knocked me down a couple of times and that had made me better at predicting what would hit me next. I thought I'd find peace here in Dakota's house but all that was given to me was sorrow which was too bitter a pill to swallow. "S-stop pl-playing g-games, kid." I stuttered, grasping for something. Anything to keep me stead... but there was nothing.
Pheobe grabbed a hold of my outstretched hand, stepping out of the house with a facial expression that had my heart sinking further. "Trust me, I wish I was playing games with you. I wish Dakota was still alive to see the young woman I had become."
She sniffled, blinking rapidly to hold back the glinting liquid in her eyes. I knew Dakota to be a kind woman who loved leaving a mark on everyone she related with but I didn't know any Pheobe before my escape.
"I'll get you a glass of water. Please don't pass out before-" Phoebe said to me, scanning my face which must have been red and plastered with every emotion coursing through me,
I shook my head, tears slipping out of my eyes, "Tell me how... when. Please t-tell me what ha-happened." There was a silent plea in my voice. I was dying to know more yet scared to hear more.
Accepting that Dakota was no more would kill me drastically. Goddess! Why take away the only person who knew me down to my roots? She was my mom, for crying out loud.
There was pity in Pheobe's eyes when she nodded. The looks she was giving me broke me more than Raiden and Larisa's torture combined. She sighed, wiped her teary eyes, and sat on the edge of the front porch, patting the space beside her while holding my gaze. I staggered to her, sat beside her, and did my best to not break into tears. Inara was quiet within me but I knew she would feel the emptiness spreading through me... she'd feel the dreadful loss in the center of my heart.
"I can tell from the look on your face that she didn't tell you much about me but she never stopped bragging about you even after you escaped the pack." Pheobe began but that wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. Yes, Dakota was old and weak when I left the pack but elderly wolves live for many years before they eventually pass on. "I was a trainee to her. She taught me everything I know as a healer but I never got to know enough to save her five years ago. I couldn't heal her frozen heart. I c-couldn't sa-save-" Pheobe broke into tears, creating room for me to cry openly with her without feeling an ounce of shame. Dakota must have meant something to her just like she meant the world to me.
I murmured amidst our wailing moment, "W-what day did she d-d-"Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
I just couldn't say the word 'Die'. It was difficult to voice it especially when we were speaking about Dakota.
Pheobe understood my question even though I was unable to communicate properly. She whimpered, "July 25. I left her in the living room the night before but when I returned the next morning, she was out cold and everything I did didn't bring her back."
Aside from the fact that no healer could bring back the dead, I couldn't think of anything else but the date...July 25. That was the day I gave birth to my twins... the day I was given a new life and a whole new reason to live.
"You've got to be kidding me." I cried to the moon goddess for the sick games she was playing with my life.
How could she sit wherever she
existed and ruin a good day for me? July 25, which was in three months was supposed to be a good day because my babies would be
celebrating their sixth bis
but
that has changed now because that day would also be Dakota
sixth
death anniversary.
"I'm not," Phoebe answered in defense, reacting to my outburst, assuming that my words were directed at her.
Oh, how I wished I could sit beside the moon goddess like I was sitting with Pheobe. How I wished I could see the moon goddess and make her explain the cruel fate she created specifically for me. What I'd give to change my destiny.
Pheobe suddenly rose to her feet
and walked back into the space that
used to be Dakota's, leaving me to
cry my eyes out for the woman I'de never get to see again. If I had known it would be my last time with her I'd have hugged her tighter and longer the day we parted ways.
But it was too late now.
She was gone.
I couldn't stop the tears as my heart bled sorrowfully. Even when Pheobe returned with an old medium-sized box that I recognized to be Dakota's immediately, I still couldn't stop the tears.
"You're Aurelia. She'd want you to have this." Pheobe handed the box to me and while I stared at it, she continued speaking, "I sort of claimed her home to feel closer to her and you're welcome to lay a claim on it because you've more right to it."
"This home is your's to keep, Phoebe. Thank you for taking care of it." I uttered, assuring her that I wouldn't take the house from her.
We both sat down in silence but with hearts that were as heavy as Mount Everest for what seemed like forever but also wasn't enough to properly mourn our losses. After an hour of complete silence, I left Dakato's home, staggering back to the place Raiden provided. I sighed in relief when I entered my room and found it empty. My kids and Hazel were still out and that gave me the chance to grieve.
"You should open the box to get some closure, Relia," Inara muttered to me and even though I knew she was right, I took my time because I didn't want to stop grieving now.
I just found out about her death even
though it's been years since she passed away. I was allowed to grieve like it just happened. After
many minutes of uncontrollable net
tears, Ofinally went for the box sat on the floor beside the bed, inhaling deeply to prepare myself for what I was about to find in the box.
However, my nostrils picked up the scent of my kids and Hazel as they approached the room. I quickly pushed the box under the bed and ran into the bathroom to hide my puffy face from Hazel and the kids.
In the bathroom, I wept even more. The tears wouldn't stop flowing no matter how hard I tried and at this point, Raiden and Larisa were the least of my worries.
Oh, Dakota....