THE RAGE
We have been sunbathing on this sun for hours – close to three hours to be precise, but he still does not want to go back inside. It depicts rigorously how much he missed this. How much he needed this sun. I am so rhapsodic that I chose to poke my luck and talk him into stepping out.
“Are you sure you still don’t want to go inside? The solar is slapping hard.” I inquire again for the … nth time, and just like heretofore, he twirls his head, and I don’t contend anymore.
I don’t mind, you know! If this will help him in any way, however subtle it might be, I am willing to have my skin turned pale white by this savage sun. I don’t mind nursing sunburns at the end of it. That is how much I have learned to care for him. That is nothing correlated to what I am willing to give to see the obsolete Jerol – the Jerol that was before a certain fucked up bitch decided to torment him. Or perhaps the Jerol that I met weeks ago because he was able to uphold his sanity. He had everything in control back then.
I lift my hands to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt, and his hands plunge from the torso to give me ample access. He might blackout from being under the merciless sun for far too long in a cotton shirt. The humidity is becoming savagely high.
At the hold of the fourth button, just when my eyes had started gobbling his perfect six-pack, he pins me to him, his tight grip squeezing the breath out of me. His eyes are closed tight, like he does not want to wake up from the nightmare he is having. I’m breathless and dumbfounded.
“ELLIE!” He murmurs, just at the exact time I hear the gate open.
His parents are here!
They can’t find us in this posture for hell’s sake! Moreover, given the way he roughly scooped me from the bench, my dress has ridden up way too high. It will be so embarrassing if they walk on us like this. They might think we decided to have our morning glory in the garden. Beh!
“ELLIE, DON’T GO!” He contends when I attempt to entangle myself from him, elongating his arms around me further. He is choking me, but he doesn’t know. Just like he doesn’t know his Ellie isn’t here either, and she probably is not thinking about him.
I glance behind my back, and I see his parents stepping out of their car.
He does not know what he is doing. It’s another nightmare about her. Fuck that bitch wherever she is!
I swallow hard the clot pilling up in my throat and try to do something to save us from this forthcoming embarrassment.
“Jerol!” I call him, and I think he reckoned that maybe that isn’t his beloved Ellie’s mellifluous voice.
His eyes shoot naked at once, scaring the hell out of me. They are a mixture of ice and fire, and I shudder in his arms. I look away from them, but I am knocked back to my senses when he throws me off his lap. If I was not holding on to his shirt, I would be kissing the ground with my batt right now.
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I clung to it, impelling myself to snuggle up to him again which I manage just by sheer luck. He opens his mouth to chastise me, but I put my index finger on his lips, barricading the words before they leave his lips.
These lips, huh!
When I sense his composure, I withdraw my finger before I make a fool of myself before him and his parents.
“Relax, okay!” I soothe.
“Get off me!” He roars, way too loud that I had to drape his mouth with my hand, shocking him.
“shh. Listen, Jerol. We have guests coming our way right this minute. Act normal, okay?”
He furrows an eyebrow, and I plop my hand from his mouth. He is a bit relaxed. I guess that nightmare in the name of cursed Ellie has left his mind for a while, that is if she ever does. Nonetheless, I start to drop down from his lap because I don’t know what exactly is going through his mind right now. He isn’t saying a word, and I can’t help but worry that he might push me down any minute.
“Greetings, my daughter. Son?”
Darn! I guess I was not really quick enough to save myself from embarrassment, huh! They still found my lazy ass wandering on Jerol’s lap.
I shyly respond to Mr McCall’s warm pleasantries, helping myself down from Jerol’s lap, my face heating up with shame. Goodness!
“Greetings, father. Hello, mother.”
I greet back, but instead of retorting to my salutations, their eyes flicker to their son who is standing on his feet, his murderous gaze somewhere behind his parents.
We all follow his gaze, stopping at the bold doctor who is walking towards us. I slowly take my eyes back to Jerol.
His hands are clenched into fists, his eyes spewing flames of fire. His broad chest is heaving up and down with rapid breathing. A very cold shiver almost paralyses my spine, but I force myself to remain calm. I had an impression he wouldn’t like this, but I could not stop his father. I was right because he is about to burst with rage, and I try calming him down by taking a hold of his arm, caressing it.
Who am I kidding? I am a trembling mess yet I am trying to calm an enraged beast down? What hell!
“Whose brilliant idea was this?” He fumes when the doctor stands before us.
We all keep quiet. Dead quite! Nobody dares to respond to him, and that is aggravating his anger.
“Was I not audible enough? I asked a damn question and I believe nobody here is deaf or dumb! What’s going on?” He implores again with forced calmness. He is restraining himself from barking, but I swear this calmness carries a lot more anger than a roar would.
” You need help, son!” Her mother exclaims, the only brave person who ever challenges him, but always, always, she loses in the end.
“I am not sick! I am not insane if that is what you think!” He bitterly defends the lies that he wants to believe in.
“Maybe, but you are not yourself, Jerol. You need help, son. Please, let us help you. We…”
“I do not need any help!” He slams the table, pulling his other hand away from me. I stagger back, and if I thought his parents were confused by his outburst, now they are thunderstruck, including his father.
I compose myself and stand straight beside him. It is the only way I can show everybody that I am his wife, and my role as his wife is to be beside him in good and in bad times. Whether he is hurting me or not, I have to show my capabilities as a wife who adores her husband.
“Relax, man.” The doctor mumbles, and I must salute his balls for having the guts to open his mouth again after the deadly glare that Jerol is giving him. “Nobody thinks you are not okay, alright? I just want us to have a manly talk. There is no harm in that, right?”
“Go fuck yourself, but do it out of my sight and out of my compound!”
Whoa!
The three pairs of eyes before us stare at each other in pure perplexity. We all are bewildered, except the beast himself. Her mother’s mouth is hanging agape. Even I can’t surmise he actually said that in front of his parents. What’s more, he doesn’t seem remorseful at all. He is still firing glances at the poor doctor who is also squirming like the rest of us.
“In case you want me to break it down in a simpler way that you can comprehend, I meant you get the fucking hell out of my compound.” He roars again, and at this juncture, everyone looks at me, questionably? Pleadingly? I really can’t decipher their gazes, but I do what I think is right. I nod to the doctor, motioning for him to leave, which he does after excusing himself.
“Son? You…” His father starts, but Jerol cuts him off in the most defiant way. He walks out furiously, and their gazes defeatedly shift to me the moment he disappears inside the castle.
I bow down to their questionable gazes, because I am also incapacitated just like them. But they can’t understand. The questions in their eyes say it all.
“Well? Can’t you do anything as his supposed beloved distinguished wife?” The ferocious mocking voice of Mrs McCall makes me lift up my head, almost becoming paralyzed by the situation.