Which one of your crimes?
Roksolana hadn’t bothered to look up when she heard someone clearing their throat and saw her friends stand up hurriedly from their seats and bowed. She knew that it was the Sultan. Only he could command such respects from the two women who were with her. She knew that he had probably come around to check on the women in the harem or perhaps, he had come to be with his favorite mistress. Besides, she was still angry at his silly act towards her yesterday. When the princess had tapped her, she knew that the other woman was trying to tell her she was being disrespectful but she didn’t care. He should just go away from the hall and go over to Lady Miriam’s quarter. When Roksolana heard the retreating footsteps of her friends, she knew that they had betrayed her.
“Where are you two going?” Roksolana asked her friends who didn’t bother to answer.
Roksolana stood up, dropped the hoop she was holding and tried to leave also. Jamal held her arm to stop her. She flung his hand away from her arm and took a step away from him. Jamal didn’t know how to begin and her attitude towards him wasn’t helping him in any way. It was making him even more nervous than he already was. Jamal knew that his janissaries would laugh their heads off if they heard that he was nervous over a woman. When he saw her walking away from him to her room, he ran after her.
“Dawn, I’m sorry,” Jamal told Roksolana.
Roksolana paused and turned back in disbelieve. The Sultan was apologizing to her? The most dreaded Sultan everyone feared? Just because he apologized doesn’t mean that she was ready to forgive him for any of his crimes.
“For which one of your crimes?” Roksolana asked.
Jamal looked at Roksolana and knew that she wasn’t going to give him an easy way out. Which one should he tell her he was apologizing for?
“Everything,” Jamal answered because he was indeed sorry about everything he had done to her.
“You think saying sorry makes everything alright? Do you think it will bring back my family? My virginity? Will it erase the scars on my body? Erase all the emotional tortures I’ve been through? I think not,” Roksolana said and walked into her room. She slammed the door shut when she was in.
Jamal looked at the closed door and deliberated if he should go after her or not. He had just apologized to her and she had given him the cold shoulder. Does she realize that she was the first person he had ever apologized to? Maybe he should let her be since she wasn’t ready to hear him out. Perhaps when her anger had dissipated, she would listen to him. He turned around and saw Seyiddah and the princess looking at him in bewilderment. Good, he had just made a fool of himself in front of them because of Roksolana. Jamal walked away from the room before he made more fools of himself. When he stepped out, he came face to face with the second in command and Jamal narrowed his eyes at the man who bowed his head in greeting.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org
“Didn’t I warn you not to visit Lady Roksolana again?” Jamal asked the man.
“You did. However, I’m not here to visit her.” The man answered.
“Then who else are you here to see?” The Sultan asked, getting irritated by the man.
Hassan nearly laughed out loud because of the Sultan’s attitude. He wondered how long it would take the man to realize his feelings for his concubine.
“I’m here to see my sister,” Hassan answered.
Jamal nodded his head. He had almost forgotten that Seyiddah was a lady too. A lady who simply love the simple life of a commoner and had chosen to work in the kitchen rather than dress herself up and go around giving commands to the lowly people.
“But, Sultan,” Hassan began and the Sultan looked at him. He knew that he could be punished for what he was about to say and gulped before he continued. “You never answered my question yesterday.” He finished.
“What question?” Jamal asked absentmindedly.
“Why are you so obsessed with Lady Roksolana?” Hassan asked.
“None of your business,” Jamal answered and walked away.
Hassan smiled to himself as he walked into the harem. He met his sister and the princess at the door of Lady Roksolana trying to open the door. He asked them what happened and they explained the matter to him. So, those two were at it again? He asked within himself. Hopefully, the Sultan would examine himself and know what his feelings are towards Lady Roksolana. Then, he could do the right thing, and the two of them would stop having a hard time. But for now, he had to find a way to make Lady Roksolana open the door.
Jamal walked angrily back to his house, with the thought that the second in command had deliberately asked him such an uncomfortable question. By the time he was in his room, he began to pace the length of his room. Why was he really obsessed with Roksolana? Why does he feel angry when he sees any man was with her? He had never cared about any woman before, not even about those in his harem. He had never cared who they were with or what they did. He had never even cared about what even Lady Miriam, who was his favorite, was up to. If he needed a woman, he simply chose any of them that appeased his mind regardless of their status.
But that was not the case with Roksolana. Ever since he had first set his eyes on her, he had been obsessed with her. He wanted to know where she was and what she was doing at all times. It was why he had given her to Lady Miriam as a maid before so that he could always see her every time he visited the concubine.
Every time she had been beaten or treated badly, it had taken him all his willpower not to rush to her side. He had even had her transferred to the kitchen when he saw that Lady Miriam was too harsh on her. And he had intentionally chosen her as his kitchen maid because he knew that the workload would be reduced for her. For her, he had bent his rules or even changed them completely just to make sure that she wasn’t affected by them. For example, he had allowed her friends into his house when no women had ever been allowed in his house.
And recently, he had begun to care about her and everything about her. He wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and never lacked anything. And he was also always jealous every time he saw her with another man. He always feels insecure, with thoughts that he might lose her to another man. He also wanted her to notice him at all times and that was why he does things that were hard to explain. Again, he had lost interest in any other woman ever since he met her. Even if a woman was naked in front of him, he wouldn’t feel anything for her. But he only had to think about Roksolana and his manhood would be hard for her.
His mind flashed back to when he was just a young man and he would sit by his father’s side, listening to tales about how the former Sultan had met his wife, and how he felt for her. The older man could go on and on about their love story, the things he felt, and how he tried to fight them. Looking back now, Jamal realized that he felt each of those same things his father had felt for his mother. Jamal felt the same things for Roksolana. He sat down on the bed as realization struck him. He was in love with Roksolana. He had been in love with her for a while now, but he just didn’t realize it. How will he ever get her to forgive him for his action? First things first, he had to think about ways to get her to forgive him for his recent actions.
He called a guard and sent him to get Aabdeen to come over immediately. When the other man came, Jamal sent him to go and get Roksolana for him. He also instructed her to make sure Roksolana came with him or he shouldn’t come back at all. It was the first time he was threatening Aabdeen but he doesn’t care as long as Roksolana was with him. The other man bowed and went out of his room, but Jamal paid little attention to that. He had to think about the perfect thing to say to Roksolana if he wanted to win her over.