BDSM Checklist: A, B, C

Chapter 38

She bit her lip. It would be easy to say that she hadn’t meant “no,” that she’d been confused or not really paying attention. If she did that the scene would continue. It was a white lie, meant to make life easy. If it had been any other Dom, any other situation, she would have done it without thinking. Instead she took a deep breath. “I don’t want them to touch me.”

“Are you refusing to complete the checklist item?”

Tears of frustration stung Mae’s eyes. She wanted to explain what she was feeling, wanted to express the conflicting desires that roared through her, but she didn’t know how.

“Master Xavier, if I may offer my assistance?” Master Anderson rose in one elegant motion, his slightly accented voice not nearly as compelling as Xavier’s, but containing the same easy confidence. He was a man who knew that when he spoke others would listen. The submissive kneeling beside his chair watched him with hungry, haunted eyes. He wore a stark black suit, with a white shirt open at the throat. His pale skin, dark hair and eyes so blue they seemed black completed the picture of a stark, debonair man.

“I do not need assistance.” Xavier’s voice was deeper than normal. He watched the other Master.

“Of course not, but I think perhaps I might know what your sub is trying to say.”

Master Anderson had a reputation, but unlike Xavier he was not known for hard physical play. Anyone who subbed for him had to be willing to let him in, not only to their body, but to their mind. Mae had seen subs break down sobbing from the emotional intensity of spending time with him. The Dom slipped his hand under her head, lifting it slightly. When he touched her, Xavier took a half step toward the other man, as if he were going to shove him back.

“Your name is Mae?”

Mae looked at Master Xavier. He didn’t intervene, so she answered, “Yes, Sir.”

“You’re desperate to come, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But you don’t just want to come. You want your Master, and only him, to be the one to make you orgasm.”

Mae looked at Master Anderson, shocked that he’d so precisely put words to her feelings. “How did you —”

He laid one finger over her lips. “I did not invite comment. You will answer my question. Is your reluctance due to your desire to have your Master be the one to experience the gift of your pleasure?”

The way the other Dom phrased it kept it from sounding like her desire was another instance of her trying to top from the bottom. Mae looked at Master Xavier. “Yes, Sir. That’s it exactly.”

“Your Master wants you to be serviced by anyone who walks into the room. And what does that mean?”

Now Mae looked away from Xavier, staring at the ceiling. “I am Master Xavier’s to do with as he pleases.”

The other Dom lowered her head, his gold signet-style ring, embossed with a triangular Celtic symbol, catching the light. Mae blew out a long breath. She was relieved that she’d had a chance to express what she was feeling, and glad Master Anderson had reminded her of her place.

Some romantic part of her hoped that Xavier would be so moved that he’d undo the bindings, sweep her into his arms and carry her away to fuck her in privacy. He didn’t, and she hadn’t really thought he would. If he were the kind of Dom who’d do that, she wouldn’t care so much, wouldn’t feel the things she was feeling.

The heavy blindfold slid into place over her eyes. Her tension ratcheted up a notch, and without being able to see she had the strangest sense that she was falling off the barrel. Xavier pressed something soft between the tips of her fingers and her forearm. “I’m going to gag you. This takes the place of your safe word. Release the cloth and I’ll remove the gag so we can speak. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.” Something brushed her cheek and Mae could smell the rubber of the ball gag. She twisted her head to the side, sudden panic taking hold of her. “Please, no.”

“I want you to open your mouth, Red.”

Mae’s lips trembled as she fought to push aside her fear and let her submissiveness rise up.

Xavier kissed her.

He cradled her head as his lips pressed over hers. The kiss felt odd, because she was upside down, but then he nipped her lower lip before pressing his tongue into her mouth. Her mind went quiet even as her body flushed with desire. When he pulled back, Mae parted her lips, ready for the gag.

“I could order that you don’t come.” He traced her lower lip with his thumb. “They would still touch you, play with you, but your orgasm would still be mine.”

His. There’d be no relief for this intense ache that consumed her, but he would own another little piece of her.

“If it would please you, Master.”

She heard him take a deep breath. “You are so much more than you seem. A man could spend a lifetime exploring your submission.”

Mae’s heart thumped.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“And I regret that I cannot be that man.” The words were so low she could barely hear them, and before she had time to process what he’d said, Xavier pinched her chin, forced her mouth open, and pressed the ball gag into place.

She wanted to ask him what he meant by that. Wanted to push back against the implied idea that it was his choice alone whether he became a permanent part of her life, and remind him that he was only her Dom for the game—even if inside she was starting to feel like the parts of her Xavier owned she might never get back.

She struggled against the gag, trying to spit it out. Xavier cupped her jaw, forcing her to bite down on it. Mae’s struggle was short lived. When she stilled, Xavier buckled the straps behind her head, then tugged lightly on the safe word cloth, reminding her it was there.