Ari (Child of the Beastman Goddess)

Every step on the bridge felt surreal and weird. It was like you were walking past a stream of rushing water in a river, even though there was no water on it. It was cold and heavy. The more I stepped forward, the heavier it felt.

I tried to run, but it felt like the more I ran faster, the slower I moved forward. I was shocked upon realizing that it won’t be easy to pass through the bridge. I was so stupid to not remember that the Bridge of Trial He was talking about is the same Bridge of Trial that a god or a goddess goes through before their awakening.

Is this a scam? Was I tricked by the Supreme Being?

I panicked so I tried to run in irritation. However, the more irritated I was, the greater the invincible force tried to stop me from moving further.

I suddenly felt like there were ghostly shadows grabbing my feet, restraining my movement even more.

I was panicking. My instinct was telling me to move forward, but how can I even move forward?

I cried and trembled in fear as my anxiety took its toll on me. I suddenly heard hallucinatory voices of Sephtis. I knew it was not real because he won’t be able to enter this place without the permission of the Supreme Being.

“Arie… What were you trying so hard for? Why don’t you just surrender to me? Then give your power to your sister? We can live together forever in the abyss.” The voice similar to Sephtis whispered with a spine-chilling tone.

“No! Even if I stay here, I won’t ever give you what you wanted!” I screamed while trembling in fright despite knowing it was just an illusion.

“Ari… Are you really going to leave us behind? I thought we were friends?” A voice similar to Tora whispered to my ears with a betrayed tone.

I tried to look around me and I couldn’t see anything but the path that I needed to pass through. The bridge was surrounded by clouds, making it hard to determine what was underneath it.

“Tora? Where are you?” I asked despite not seeing her.

I wasn’t even sure what happened to the three of them after I fainted while releasing the power within me, hoping to help them.

“Ari… It was your fault! We wouldn’t have been hurt if you had mentioned to us about the poison!” A furious voice similar to Nyala screamed suddenly out of nowhere.

My head was hurting due to confusion. It hurts my heart knowing that they are telling the truth. I was too selfish. I couldn’t even save them with the power I have. I felt so guilty for my shortcomings.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be carried away by my anxiety. I tried… I really tried… Please believe me. I didn’t want you all to suffer that way…” I cried while roaring in agony and guilt as I tried to crawl forward.

A ghostly figure suddenly appeared before me, but he wasn’t speaking and jumped from the bridge.

“Macan! NO!!!!!” I screamed in horror as I tried to stand up to stop him from jumping.

However, the grip of the shadow hands crawled up to my knees, causing me to fall back down, hitting my face on the ground.

I moaned in pain and cried in guilt.

“Ari… My little sister” Whispered a voice similar to my brother Orson.

“Ari… Do you really hate us?” Asked the voice similar to Lowell.

“Ari… Do you hate me too?” Mumbled the voice similar to Dillon.

“No! I don’t! I just-” I answered.

I suddenly remembered how they reacted the day I rejected them after my condition worsened again.

My reactions are consequences of my condition-I see every man’s eye with lust in their eyes once they look at me straight in the eyes.

One doctor I had before said it was because of my trauma and the type of personality I have. The doctors who examined me determined that I was intuitive, causing me to be sensitive to the emotion of the people surrounding me-exaggerating the way I think of others.

I felt embarrassed that day knowing I’ve been and will always be judging people around me differently than a normal person would. I tried to adjust and change the way I think of others while always telling myself that I shouldn’t judge their intention without knowing who they really are, but there are still times that I am getting caught off guard.

After being reborn in this world, I felt disgusted seeing everyone, but I just kept telling myself that I don’t as if hypnotizing myself to believe in my own words. It became the shadow in my heart that I have been keeping inside for a long time. I was just pretending to be a good person in front of people while judging them behind their back.

“Ari… Were you disgusted with me all along? Is that why you couldn’t accept me?” Uttered the voice similar to Blake.

“I did! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it-it was how I really am!” I screamed while covering my ears, shivering from being honest to myself for the first time.

“Mommy… Are you leaving me too? Did you hate me too? Was I a bad hatchling? Sorry… I love you mommy… Please don’t leave Gurion…” A ghostly figure similar to Gurion suddenly appeared before me crying in sadness while reaching out to me.

I tried to crawl to his direction despite the restraints on my feet, but he suddenly vanished when I tried to hug him in my arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby…” I groaned in agony as I hugged myself feeling guilty for everything.

I felt like I was being surrounded by the dark shadows of unknown origin.

“Ahri, my precious daughter…” A familiar voice suddenly called out, causing cracks on the shadow surrounding me, showing a glimpse of light between the cracks.

I jolted and tried to stand up despite being pulled down by the shadow hands which were holding me back. I desperately looked between the cracks while hitting the black shell surrounding me-trying to break myself free.

I wanted to see his face to confirm who it really was.

“Dad? Is it really you? Dad! Answer me please…” I screamed as my tears kept streaming down uncontrollably as I tried to struggle from the shadows and the dark enclosure containing and restraining me.

I was confused who it was but I instinctively called him “dad” because of the way he addressed me. I clearly heard Father Lev’s voice, but the language he was using is beyond this realm and the name he uttered was not Ari, but Ahri-I can’t be mistaken, I heard it clearly.

I tried to wipe my tears while trying to break free until I fell on my knees from exhaustion.

“It’s been a while since I called you Ahri. My child, I was with you all throughout the three lives you had. It hurts me so much seeing you suffer like this.”

A figure of Father Lev in black hair and modern clothes suddenly appeared as I looked in between the cracks.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, seeing what was in front of me. All this time, I didn’t realize that my human father was also Father Lev. I now understand why his arms felt familiar the first day he held me in his arms. Tears kept streaming from my eyes. I felt extremely desperate to run towards him as I tried to fight the things that were restraining me.

The grip of the shadow hands tightened, causing me to fall flat on the ground. I want to hug him. I was so desperate that I roared in despair.

“Ahri… Let go of the things in your previous lives that are binding on you and move forward to the place where your heart desperately desires.” He uttered with the usual worried tone in his voice.

“Father… I’m sorry… I’ve messed up… I wanted to save you, but I am so scared. It’s so terrifying… I couldn’t handle it alone.” I was distraught and afraid of everything.

“You were never alone. You are naturally kind and giving, making all the people around you drawn to your presence no matter how desperately you keep your distance from them. Those people who have been with you and whom you’ve met throughout this long journey. You still have a long journey, but I won’t blame you for giving up this instant. I will always respect your decision because you are my one and only precious little princess.” He responded gently before his figure faded slowly.

“I can’t do this! I hate this! I’m a mess! I’m just a loser! I am embarrassed for being too weak! It’s so frustrating!” I roared in extreme disappointment while crying my heart out.

I suddenly felt an overwhelming energy from within me, causing me to transform into my passive-aggressive form. I felt the usual burning sensation of the insignia on my neck radiating to my chest. It hurts so bad that my heart felt like it was being torn apart-it felt like it was being cut open.

I couldn’t take it any longer so I roared in desperation while releasing the power in me, causing an explosion of light which shattered the darkness restraining me as I spread my wings and flapped it as hard as I could while jumping to the sky. I dashed forward, towards the path that my heart was telling me to go without placing my foot on the ground.