Always Been You

~Lola’s POV~NôvelDrama.Org owns © this.

Dante is an extremely twisted individual, one who is both very dark and twisted at the same time. Since he asked for my help with the Japanese contract yesterday, things have been a little awkward between us. As if staring at my ass wasn’t enough, the man fucking got a boner in front of his daughter. He probably won’t be turned on by me, right? I mean, he hates me. I just want to get it over with this project so that he can sign the damn divorce papers. In order for us to finish the project today, he made the decision to work from home. However, I have no doubt that they will ask him to travel to Japan. They did the same thing to me five years ago. The timing couldn’t have been better for me; they were looking for someone who prioritized family. They have such a strong commitment to traditional family norms that Dante would have to find someone else to play the role of his wife. I’m not sure how they are going to take it, as then they knew we were married. If they ever ask him to fly to Japan, I will have to make sure he is aware of that fact. I brushed everything away and entered his study wearing only my nightgown. I enjoy being liberated. The children have already been dropped off at school. I wanted to drink some water before we could start, but Dante’s study has a bar fridge. I rapped on the door and opened his study door, barely looking around.

“Good morning. Sorry for being late. I could do with some water.” My eyes followed him to the fridge, where he pulled out a bottle of water, popped the top, and drank it.

Oh, he’s such a gentleman!

I approached the fridge and bent down a little so I could grab a bottle for myself. I could feel him watching me, and when my head tilted back, I caught him staring at my ass. When he noticed he had been caught, he gulped down everything from the water bottle. I walked over to the desk while popping the lid and twisting it. I took a few large gulps, trying to quench the dryness of my throat.

“Tell me about when you were pregnant and the difficulties you faced. Your cravings. Tell me about everything.” As I was screwing the lid back on, I couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh.

“Noodles! I loved noodles. It’s funny how the kids loved noodles, just like you and me. I couldn’t even get a taste of the food before I threw up whenever I tried to eat something that they didn’t like. The second and third trimesters were the most challenging throughout the entire pregnancy. I couldn’t bend down to put on shoes or panties because I couldn’t bend down. When I was alone, I often found myself crying and wishing that someone were there to comfort me. I had to switch over to using only the shower because I was no longer able to use a bathtub. It was tiring and amazing at the same time. When they started kicking, I felt like they could feel my struggles.”

Fuck! I feel as though I may have divulged a little bit too much information. Dante was sad, sad that he didn’t get to witness any of it. “I’m sorry,” I commented. I observed that he appeared to be upset, but he just stood there as though thinking about something. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to watch any of it.” He then went to the minibar in his room, took out a glass, poured some scotch into it, and drank the entire thing in one sitting. He is furious and is making an effort to control his anger. When it comes to our children, we are constantly at odds with one another.

“Um… I think I will have to come back after some time.” I said as I fumbled with my footing in an attempt to take a step.

“No, go on.” My eyes widened in surprise when I realized that he actually was interested in hearing about everything. “Did you take pictures?” He required, the color of his eyes turning redder and more bloodshot. Even though he was angry, he was still interested in hearing everything. I was afraid he’d snap at me, so I went to get my pregnancy journey album.

“I can show you.” I interpreted the slight glimmer that appeared in his eyes as a sign that he was interested, and consequently, I went into my room to retrieve the album. When I came back, I handed the album over to him. The first picture is from the moment I found out I was going to be a mother for the first time. He was unable to tear his eyes away from the picture.

“Did I make it hard for you to open up to me when you first found out?” I nodded when he asked. “I’m sorry.”

What! Am I dreaming?

“What was that?” He looked in my direction. I knew he hated repetitions, so I looked away.

“Were you scared?” He asked and paused. “When you found out you were pregnant. Were you excited?”

“Not really. I was not scared, nor was I excited. We were husband and wife, more like an unwanted wife. You wanted her, not me. You stated unequivocally that it should not have happened, and that it was a mistake. As soon as I found out, I immediately began making preparations to terminate the pregnancy.” I jumped back a little bit and covered both my eyes and my ears as he smashed the glass of scotch that he was holding against the wall. I was startled by the sound. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted to know all of it.” He shifted his gaze to the window, staring into space.

“I’m sorry too. I just feel…” He inhaled deeply and swallowed. “What made you decide to keep them?”

“At first, I thought it was just one. The day I went to make an appointment for an abortion, they performed an ultrasound, and that’s when I found out there were three of them. After that, I started to feel anxious and started to avoid you because I knew that if I told you the truth, it would destroy the relationship that you had with Candice, and maybe you would have noticed the changes that had taken place in my body.

“I see, did you ever think that what I had with Candice was more than what I had with you?” I went completely still. What was he on about? He noticed I wasn’t saying anything and continued paging through the album. “You were big and beautiful.” I honestly don’t know where this conversation is headed, but I’m glad we’re having it. Maybe he will find some closure, and maybe I will too. I smiled at his comment.

“If you think that is big, you should wait till you see pictures of my last week. I couldn’t move.” I said as I took the album from him and started paging, “Look at that, I look like a hippo.” I couldn’t help but laugh at my appearance.

“Oh, come on, you were the sexiest thing alive.” I came to a halt and looked at him; our eyes met, and for a brief second, I was unable to recall who I was. I was completely absorbed by those eyes. How did we end up here? The Japanese project was supposed to be our focus, but we ended up working on something else. He cleared his throat and swallowed, then continued, “Can I borrow this?” He said as he raised the album up.

“Of course, you can keep it. I’m going to go get some coffee, then we can start working.”

“You go ahead.” He said this as he began to look at the album with zeal. After taking a few steps, I came up against something solid, which caused me to stumble. I looked up to find Dante standing way too close to me and catching me before I fell.

How the fuck did he get here?

“I’m sorry.” He stated that his voice had become huskier. When Dante looked at me, my heart stopped in my chest, and I felt a chill run down my spine. Wait! Is that lust I see in his eyes? He was fucking staring at my boobs. I swear I could feel the intensity ratcheting up a notch between us.

I am imagining things again. I moved back a little when I realized how close we’d gotten in those few minutes. I attempted to walk again, but he grabbed my hand this time, which triggered a sensation at the base of my spine that I had not experienced in a very long time.

“Thank you for telling me about your pregnancy journey. It meant a lot to me. And thank you for being a wonderful mother to our children. You are awesome, Bunny. I’m sorry for everything.”

What? The last time he called me that was way back.

“You’re a great father too, Dante, and I’m sorry too,” I said and started walking toward the door. I had a distinct impression that Dante was following my every move. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating, so I looked back and saw him staring at my ass again. Once he noticed, I caught him staring. His eyes quickly moved up to mine. I turned around just as fast, not wanting to initiate anything with him, but then a smile erupted on my face.

Why the fuck does he keep staring at my ass?