Always Been You

~Lola’s POV~

As Dante and I were battling to see who could maintain their gaze the longest, I saw that our mothers were looking at each other. My mom swallowed and cleared her throat. “Martha, I think we need to catch up. How about lunch?”

“I don’t feel hungry.” I know she doesn’t want to leave me with Dante alone. To be honest, I don’t want to be near him, at least not right now.

“Lola,” he said, pausing to make sure I was staring at him. “To my study.”

“I have to take my bags to my room f…” He cut me off.

“Now!” I was stuck in place. He walked a few steps up the stairs before stopping to look at me. He looked at me with pessimistic eyes, which frightened me, and then raised an eyebrow. I left my belongings and followed him. He went to his room while I went to the study. The study was cold, just like its owner, and the thought of me being alone in the study with him sent shivers down my spine. I’m not sure why he wanted to see me alone in his study. I had a quick glance around. It was still the same; nothing had changed. On the wall was a picture of our wedding day, and on top of his oak desk was a picture of us when I was nine and he was sixteen. I took the picture and stared at it for a while, thinking about how everything went wrong. I was deep in thought when the door opened. It caused me to turn and come face-to-face with Dante. I carefully placed the picture where it was as he walked in, holding some documents.Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.

“Sit.” He commanded, and I gulped silently and gave him a nod. I sat and crossed my legs over one another, placing my arms on either side of the chair. He took the picture I was looking at and threw it carelessly into the bin. I felt a pit in my stomach. He threw the documents my way and cleared his throat.

“What’s this?” I finally found my voice while leaning forward to inspect the document.

“Living arrangements.” My eyes widened at the curt tone of his voice. I knew it would come to this, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. My entire strategy has been ruined. He didn’t even allow me to settle.

“The kids are mine.” I nibble on the inside of my cheeks and nibble on my bottom lip.

“Do you have sperm, Lola?” I was still staring at the document on the table. Looking everywhere but at him. I was wrong to flee in that way, but he doesn’t get to take my children away from me, as if he gave me a choice. He told me I was a mistake. So technically, my children were also a mistake. “Look at me when I’m talking to you. Do you have sperm?” I eventually raised my eyes to meet his dark gaze.

“No.”

“Good. I’m glad we are on the same page. My sperm, my kids.” He gathered the document in his hands before hurriedly tossing it in my direction and rapidly went through the documents. A tear escaped my eyes as I went through the document. No, he can’t do this to me. I shook my head nonstop and cleared my throat, trying to say something, but couldn’t. I tried to summon confidence by pressing my tongue against the roof of my mouth and clasping my hands together, but all I did was shake. I separated my hands and rested them on my jeans and locked gazes with him.

“What if I refuse to sign this?” He crouched forward to close the distance between us as my breath hitched from the proximity. My hands hastily clung to the chair while his breath fanned my face and I thickly swallowed. He stared at me with a stoic expression. I couldn’t read him. I hate it when I can’t read people. He held my gaze, and I was quick to look away.

“Technically, we are divorced, though not submitted. But tomorrow, there will be nothing holding me back. You get your freedom, and I will continue to raise my children.”

“Are you trying to cut me off from their lives?”

“You do not have the right to come to my house and tell me what to do. You no longer have that right. You can see them once a month. At the very least, I’m still polite. You kept them for four good years without my seeing them. You are heartless, but since I’m being civil and for the sake of you raised them. Once a month is enough.”

“I’m not going to sign this,” I said. He gave me a stern look.

“We can, however, go to court. Not even the judge will rule in your favor, Bunny.” I gulp a ball of spit as my heart speeds inside my chest and the organ beats irregularly, leading me to breathe harshly. I sat there watching as he strolled majestically to the window and gazed into the horizon. Then he turned to the minibar and picked up a bottle of scotch, poured it into a square tumbler, then opened the mini-bar fridge, and put some ice into his scotch. He swirled the liquid in the tumbler. The only sound in the study was the sound of the ice cubes clattering against the sides of the tumbler. It was clear that he was irate. He does that when he wants to cool his temper. He doesn’t want to show me how angry he is. The man is reserved. For some reason, I wanted to provoke him to see why he was so reserved.

“What if I tell the judge that my husband was busy sleeping with my best friend while I was pregnant and that was one of the reasons I ran away?” He smirked as he slowly turned to face me. I rise from my seat and suck in a deep breath, exhaling shakily.

“Do you have any evidence?” I went completely still. The only person who can testify is Candice. Knowing Candice’s obsession with him, she will testify against me to win his love. I am doomed. He continued, “The only person who can testify against me is Candice, whom the public has never seen me with. Her words, against mine.” He was right. Candice had no photos of her and Dante. There is no evidence that they were dating. Only his family was aware, but there was no evidence. “If you keep on pressing, you will have to pay the ultimate price. I have the power to remove you from my children’s lives.” I couldn’t stand up straight. I was trembling. Not only did his threats utterly destroy me, but they also gave me goosebumps. I can’t afford to lose my children. My eyes welled up with tears. I gazed at him as I lifted the document. He had no sympathy at all. I signed and rushed out of his study, but I needed to tell him something. So I turned back and saw him holding two documents as I carefully opened the door to his study, one of which was unmistakably the one I had just signed. I watched as he sat at his desk and called someone, telling them to come and collect the divorce and living arrangements. My entire existence was on those two documents. I stood there watching him put the documents in one of the drawers. He was done with me. Dante Monroe was done with me. Not that I am worried about him not caring about my feelings. He sipped the rest of his drink and placed the glass on top of the desk. I slowly walked away to one of the guest rooms.

The following morning, there was a ruckus that jolted me awake. I was so annoyed since I wanted to sleep some more.

“Who the fuck broke into my study and stole my documents?” I heard Dante’s voice as I woke up. The door to my room slammed shut, revealing an enraged Dante. “Did you take the divorce papers and living arrangements?” I yawned.

“Is that why you came into my room without knocking? What if I could have been naked?”

“Did you fucking start a fire in the fireplace?” I let out another yawn.

“So many questions at once,” I said, as I stretched out my hands, “I took all the documents, and as for the fire, that’s where the documents ended up.”

“You did what?”

“Those were your arrangements, not mine. You coerced me into signing a document stating that I would be allowed to visit my children once every month. As much as the sperm was yours, I carried them for nine fucking months. When it comes to my children, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You cheated, not me. You told me I was a mistake. That means my children were also a mistake. Do you want me to keep going since I have a lengthy list of things I wish to say to you?” He held me by my clothes. He was mad. One thing I know, he can be wicked to me, but he will never lay his hands on me.

“What exactly did you say?” He breathed out while his nose flared like a mad dog about to attack its prey.

“You don’t get to fucking tell me what to do when it comes to my children. They are mine. I would rather die than see them once a month. I went through shit pushing them out of my vagina and you get to set the rules? You must have lost some screws in your fucking head, Dante Monroe. Until we settle this, I am not signing shit!”