Want to Play A Game

As I start to coming to, I’m afraid to open my eyes. I begin to wonder was I dreaming or did I really see Matt, I want to open my eyes to see him but what if it really wasn’t him I saw? No matter what, I’m going to have to face whatever situation I am in. I need to try my hardest to be strong, know matter what I am about to undercover once I open my eyes.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

As I slowly begin to open my eyes I notice I’m in bed it looks to be a king. It’s huge. I’m not sure if I have ever been in such a big bed. The comforter is so comfortable and soft, I’m so warm I don’t want to uncover myself. When I go to move my arm, I notice I have an iv in me not sure what is going on I go to sit up and that’s when I see a slumped over Matt sleeping in a chair in front of me I wonder why he slept there when there is a very large bed that had plenty of room for him or did he not want to sleep with me.

As I go to look around to try to figure out where I am at. I don’t recognize anything, I know that we are not in his apartment. I just stare at him, I missed him so much, but I’m so angry that he left me without a trace. Even though he came and saved me from my hell. I still want to know the reason he took off.

I want to wake him, but he looks so peaceful even though he looks uncomfortable as hell. Wondering how anybody can sleep the way he is. But then again if you’re tired enough you will sleep in any position. I look around. I’m curious about where I’m at, I began to think wow there is a lot that I probably don’t know about him. Did he save me because he cares about me, or did he help me because he felt obligated to help me? Do I really want to know the true, especially if it’s not what I want to hear?

I don’t understand why I feel so much for him. I have never cared about someone the way I feel about him. Wanting him to want me more than anything in this world. I can’t control my feelings for him when he is around. I just don’t understand why he keeps leaving me. Could this all have been prevented if he would have just stayed?

I’m afraid, not sure who I can even trust anymore. The carefree, simple life I once lived doesn’t exist anymore. I’m not sure what the hell is going on with him. He seems like he cares, but then he just disappears. I’m so lost and unsure of what I should do. I need to call my mother, she is probably worried sick about me not knowing what has happened to me. I don’t want to wake Matt, so I try to be as quiet as possible.

When I go to take the comforter off my body, I notice I’m clean and have different clothes on. Then I wonder how long I have been out. I go to sit up and put my legs down over the edge of the bed. I then began to take out the iv in my arm. I hate needles, so I have trouble watching it slide out of my hand as blood comes from my hand. I wipe it off with my shirt. When I finally go to stand, I can feel my legs turn to jelly right before I go to hit the ground. I feel strong arms catch me when I go to turn my head, I then look into Matt’s beautiful blue eyes and all I see is compassion.